TOW the Jeans Pocket Card
by spiralnebulaM31
Summary: "At that moment, I decided to never let her believe she's not beautiful again." Chandler's thoughts about certain events of his life with Monica. Mid-season 7 with mentions of pre Mondler cuteness.


I almost laugh as I look at the card. It took me almost three weeks, but I found it. Ever since Monica expressed her doubts about the way my feelings for her might change if she ever gets overweight again, I was trying to find a way to show her I was honest when I said it wouldn't matter to me.

Today, while I was walking back home from work, I noticed a small bookstore that has just opened. I went in to take a look and the first thing I noticed was this card which has a jeans' pocket printed on it. I have no idea what the creator of the card was thinking, but it was just what I needed. I immediately bought the card, which now says "I'd carry you around in my pocket" on the inside. I also cut one of our photos and glued her smiley face on the edge of the pocket, so that it looks like her head is poking out of it. I put my smiley face under my own quote instead of a signature.

I hope Monica likes it. I have planned a special romantic night for us and I can't wait for her to return from work. Only after that "Skidmark" incident did I realize that with all the wedding preparations, we haven't found the time to really talk lately. Most of our conversations are rushed and I don't remember when the last time we dressed up and went out was.

I don't remember if I've told her how beautiful she is lately either. I can recall the first time I decided that making sure she believed how beautiful she is became one of my top priorities.

It was a nice evening in the middle of spring. I chuckled to myself as I hopped cheerfully up the stairs to my apartment.

Monica had won. I knew she was going to be happy. Maybe a little too happy. She hadn't won a single bet since we had taken their apartment. Before a lot of time had passed they claimed it as theirs without even asking us. However, the thought that she had lost still haunted her. Maybe "haunt" is a strong word, but it seems to be fitting the situation perfectly. She was so cute and so annoying at the same time; it was crazy. She wouldn't lose a moment of trying to compete against the rest of us and I wouldn't lose a chance to tease her about it.

About a month after Kathy and I had broken up, I was still in my usual misery. One night, while we were watching a movie cuddled up together on her couch, the incessant discussion about me remaining alone forever was accidentally continued from where we had left it off. Monica insisted that I would have a date with a gorgeous woman in no time and I was certain something like that would never happen again. One thing led to another and we ended up betting on my nonexistent dating life.

A few weeks later, I went to a sleep clinic with Joey. I still find it insane how much noise some people can make while they're sleeping. Of course what had happened at the clinic was not deliberate. Joey was asleep, that woman was hot, I tried to flirt, she seemed to be interested in me. There was no way it would have happened if my friend, the one who finds women more easily than anyone else I know, was awake. That was why I insisted that date shouldn't count as a win.

As it was expected, Monica ignored me. I went to her place after my date had ended abruptly with a scream from that mysterious hot woman and freaked out a little when I saw her wearing Emily's wedding dress. Well, she seemed to have been more freaked out than I was, although I couldn't even begin to imagine the reason then. Some minutes later, after she had changed to her regular clothes, she drew a smiley face on a napkin. Its little tongue was out and it said "M-C 1-0".

I knew this competition would never end. Of course that would be the case if I ever had a date again, which I doubted. Surprisingly enough, it happened not long after our bet. A beautiful woman had come with a co-worker –her sister– to work. She had come across the country and wanted to see every aspect of her sister's life. She ended up having lunch with me and forgetting all about her sister. I have no idea what made her so attracted to me, but she asked me out that night. We had a great time and it was a little sad that I couldn't feel anything for her apart from friendly curiosity. But it was a date nevertheless.

So, I went up the stairs, ready to announce to Monica that the score had changed; it would be 2-0 against me. I was probably too cheerful for losing and I hoped she would think it was because of my date, not because I couldn't wait to see the adorable smile on her face when she would add another point to her winning list.

I reached the hallway between our apartments and decided to go straight to hers. It was around the time she came back from work.

I opened the door slowly and found her curled up on the couch, crying her eyes out. My heart immediately broke into pieces and I thought it was ironic how the idea of that particular person smiling could light up my whole world and the image of her crying could bring me back to darkness in one second.

I closed the door quietly behind me and joined her on the couch. Her eyes caught mine and she tried to swallow a sob. It wasn't a secret that Monica didn't like being seen while crying. She didn't want anyone to think she was weak. But I've always known her, the real her and it wouldn't be the first time she cried in front of me. It wouldn't be the first time she cried in my arms, where I found her moments later, clutching on my shirt, making it wet with warm fresh tears. My arms circled her shoulders instinctively and I held her as long as she needed to calm down.

"Mon, what's wrong?" I asked her softly as I stroked her hair.

She leaned back to look at me. Despite the tears that shadowed her eyes, they were still the bluest, most perfect eyes I had ever seen. "Nothing. It's… It's stupid."

"Something that upsets you so much can't be that stupid." I simply said, not wanting to pressure her, but knowing she would tell me eventually anyway.

"Everywhere I go, whatever I do, whoever I'm with I just feel like I'm always the second choice. From the moment I was born I- I…" She tried to finish the sentence, but new streams of tears fell down her eyes and my heart went out to her.

"Is this about your mom?" I asked the first logical thing that came to my mind.

"This all started when I met my mom. No, it started when my mom met me. From the moment I was born, I wasn't the one she preferred. It was always Ross. And now everyone prefers someone else first and I hate that." Monica managed to say. Her whole body was shaking and it took every ounce of my self-control to not kiss her tears away. Instead I brought one of my thumbs to her cheeks and wiped them gently.

"Oh, Mon… I think you're forgetting something. What about all of us? You're the first choice for us, sweetie, and you know it."

She sighed. "I don't know if it's true, but even if it is, it's not going to last forever. I'm going to end up alone and all of you will be living happily with your families."

"Yeah, especially me." I scoffed, not intending to sound bitter, but that's how it came out anyway. "What really happened today, Mon?"

"There was that cute inspector at work and every woman in the restaurant made googly eyes on him. I talked to him, he congratulated me about the state of the kitchen, he made a few jokes, we laughed. And as I was tasting some new desserts, a waitress commented on how greedily I was eating and wondered how I don't get fat when I'm eating like that. Of course he left with her after her shift had ended and didn't even glance back to say goodbye." Monica stop talking and took a deep breath. It was definitely good for her to take it all out, because at that moment she looked more angry than sad.

"Was she slutty?" I asked randomly, trying to lighten the mood.

"What?" Apparently she didn't expect that.

"That waitress. Was she slutty?"

"A little." She chuckled, but her face got serious again. "It's just that I haven't felt desirable for such a long time. I think I'm forgetting how to be a woman."

"Are you kidding me? You're beautiful. You're smart. You're fun to be around." She rolled her eyes at that and I continued. "You are. You are all those things and so many more."

"I'm a pathetic human being who eats like a pig." She said, trying to make the tone of her voice light. Only her eyes spoke the truth.

"You are a fantastic woman who happens to like delicious treats. And you'll always be beautiful. Don't ever forget that."

"Yeah, right." She snorted and suddenly disentangled herself from me. She headed to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. When she closed the refrigerator's door she found me standing in front of her. I think I startled her. I waited for her to drink the water, never breaking eye contact. Weirdly enough, her own eyes refused to leave mine as well.

"Monica, what will it take for me to convince you that you are in fact incredibly beautiful and most guys definitely lose their nerve and become self-conscious just by looking at you?"

She averted her eyes and turned to leave. I grabbed her softly by the elbow and had her in my arms again.

"Would the fact that you have one more win for our bet brighten your night, even a little bit?" I asked, certain that it would at least take her mind off of her insecurities for a while.

She furrowed her eyebrows, confused for a moment, when suddenly she made the connection. Her face lit up and she ran to her room. It sounded like she opened a drawer and return with a notebook in her hands. She opened it carefully and there it was, the napkin, folded neatly between the pages.

She took a note of the new score and showed it to me, grinning.

That was it. That was the moment I had been waiting for all night. I might have been a little selfish earlier, because my date seemed to be having a good time with me and all I could think about was Monica's happy moment of victory.

Her smile was even better than I had imagined and I didn't know it back then, but it had already begun changing my entire world.

At that moment, I decided to never let her believe she's not beautiful again. I decided to try to remind her how fantastic she was every time I had the chance.

A couple of weeks later, I told her that she had been the most beautiful woman in the room, in most rooms, and I meant it.

A few months later, I told her that I loved her and it was the most sincere thing I had ever said. Just as the sweet things I whisper to her every time we are alone together.

What seems to have changed during the last couple of years though is that she doesn't really care about what the world thinks anymore. The only opinion that matters to her is mine. And that's okay, because she's my whole world, too, and I'll try to never stop reassuring her how incredible she is. My beautiful Mon, my future wife, my love.

**A.N.: Inspiration usually visits me at the weirdest places in the most inappropriate times. This time I didn't let it go away and tried to be creative. I hope there wasn't anything in the story that confused you. Thanks for reading!**

**P.S. To the patient readers who are waiting for an update of "You are my soulmate": It will happen eventually, I'm definitely going to finish that story!**


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